Couplehood in Relationships W/ Allisha Minor-Gaines

Allisha Minor-Gaines is a Marriage & Family Therapist and Coach. She is the
Founder & CEO of Allishaz Distractions LLC , with over 21 years of
experience in the field of Psychology & Social Work; including as a Marriage & Family Therapist.

Allisha's services are tailored to her client’s unique needs, aiming to strengthen couples relationships, and to aid women who struggle with dating.  Her mission is to help them achieve mental stability, and foster good relationships and meaningful change.

In this real, revealing and practical conversation, Allisha shares about her career and work, helping and coaching people in relationships. In particular, we focus on Couples and the challenges they face along their journey. 

She talks about some of the distractions and issues which affect couples like; infidelity, co-parenting, caregiving, family interference, communications issues, zoning out and more. 

When asked about the major recurring challenges which affect couples, Allisha mentions infidelity (physical & emotional), Cyber infidelity (those DMs), communications, sex, dealing with finances and mental health issues among others.  

We talk about the major Red flags couples should be aware of. Allisha says that everyone has a "Pattern" of behavior, therefore if they change perhaps you should take note of this. Others are gaslighting, stone walling, bread crumbing (feeding a little but not fully invested), lack of accountability and not taking ownership etc. 

She says that couples in long term relationships, change over the years.  Being mindful of this is important, because the dynamics of the relationship will also change.  Which may cause problems if not addressed, and if both parties do not evolve as well. 

Allisha talks about the deliberate actions required to build a committed relationship. Ultimately, it starts with being intentional and making time and space to make it work.

She indicated that there is also a need for individuals to establish personal boundaries. This can give them the space to be themselves, feed their soul, and evolve. 

We talk about women in relationships and the need for them to practice self-care. Her advice for women is that they should take their time and invest in themselves.  So that they can add value to the relationship, to pour in and also to receive in a  healthy environment.

When choosing a mate, it is important to be intentional; observe them in all their seasons. Watch their interactions, ask the right questions, speak about your morals and boundaries and ask the same of them. 

Allisha indicates that a healthy committed relationship must have trust and honesty. To future proof your relationship, it is important for couples to spend quality time together, keep dating, explore and try new things. Also have your me-time, because if these elements are missing then these can lead to a breakdown. 

Allisha says "for relationships to sail you have to understand why it is anchored. If you don't know this, then the relationship cannot move forward".

I encourage you to listen to this in-depth discussion about love, relationships, couplehood and more; it will help you in your search for the perfect partnership.